Pamela Aracena Santos –Gokhan Özkan
“ We very
much appreciate being part of the International Multicultural Network
and thankful
to the International Multicultural Network for sharing
a look inside our multicultural family,
it is important to embrace our culture
and learn about it…….”
For us being a multicultural family
means introducing our children to the whole world.
I am originally for the Dominican Republic, but I lived most of my life in the United States; specifically Miami. Miami is one of the most multi-cultural cities in the United States. However, many of us are from Latin America. I never once really met anyone from Turkey until I left for college. Even then I only had one Turkish friend. Before I met Gokhan, I did not know anything about Turkey. Embarrassingly enough I did not even know where Turkey was on a map. He and I met through unconventional means: Online. It was one random day in November of 2011 while chatting online, I came across Gokhan. He was very sweet, respectful and wanted to know a lot about me and my culture. As time passed I learned more about him and Turkey; the various “Bayrams” celebrated throughout the year, Ramadan, and Islam. Gokhan being Muslim was never a problem for me. The most important things for me were that we agreed on the basics: family, love, trust, communication etc. However, I was very curious about Islam and what it meant to be Muslim. I find being in this relationship that I can ask any question I want about Islam and it not be taken offensively. We are very open about our beliefs, and our cultural values, and often times they are not the same. However, that is not a bad thing. It gives you a different perspective on the same issues. You can learn from each other in this way, and even build your tolerance and acceptance of ideas that are in stark contrast to your own. In a way being in a multi-cultural relationship helps you interact and accept others more easily. I believe communication, trust, and respect is the glue to any relationship, and especially to one that is multi-cultural. If I don’t agree with something that he does, or he doesn’t agree with something that I am doing, we tell each other. It’s ok to disagree, even if it’s about something cultural. The most important thing is that there is communication between the two people about what the issues are, and that both people come to a solution that both will agree upon. Sometimes that means compromising. So I will admit it is a struggle. Being in a multi-cultural relationship takes patience, effort, and time. You have to really want to be with the person. One of the hardest things that can happen as a result of having a multi-cultural relationship is the criticism. I believe that this is a very common phenomenon that many multi-cultural relationships experience. This can definitely get to you, especially if the criticism is coming from someone close to you (e.g. family). Often times those closest to you will wonder why would you want be with someone who is so different than yourself? Why can’t you just be with someone from the same background, country, race, etc., who knows more the customs within your culture? But if you have a partner who will support you and encourage you, and always remind you that they love you and care for you, no matter where you are from or what you believe in, then that is what is most important and what others say about your choice to be in a multi-cultural relationship does not matter. Being multicultural is opening up our minds to accept diversity. We are learning to adapt and change for the better. This is an enlightening adventure for us all….
I am originally for the Dominican Republic, but I lived most of my life in the United States; specifically Miami. Miami is one of the most multi-cultural cities in the United States. However, many of us are from Latin America. I never once really met anyone from Turkey until I left for college. Even then I only had one Turkish friend. Before I met Gokhan, I did not know anything about Turkey. Embarrassingly enough I did not even know where Turkey was on a map. He and I met through unconventional means: Online. It was one random day in November of 2011 while chatting online, I came across Gokhan. He was very sweet, respectful and wanted to know a lot about me and my culture. As time passed I learned more about him and Turkey; the various “Bayrams” celebrated throughout the year, Ramadan, and Islam. Gokhan being Muslim was never a problem for me. The most important things for me were that we agreed on the basics: family, love, trust, communication etc. However, I was very curious about Islam and what it meant to be Muslim. I find being in this relationship that I can ask any question I want about Islam and it not be taken offensively. We are very open about our beliefs, and our cultural values, and often times they are not the same. However, that is not a bad thing. It gives you a different perspective on the same issues. You can learn from each other in this way, and even build your tolerance and acceptance of ideas that are in stark contrast to your own. In a way being in a multi-cultural relationship helps you interact and accept others more easily. I believe communication, trust, and respect is the glue to any relationship, and especially to one that is multi-cultural. If I don’t agree with something that he does, or he doesn’t agree with something that I am doing, we tell each other. It’s ok to disagree, even if it’s about something cultural. The most important thing is that there is communication between the two people about what the issues are, and that both people come to a solution that both will agree upon. Sometimes that means compromising. So I will admit it is a struggle. Being in a multi-cultural relationship takes patience, effort, and time. You have to really want to be with the person. One of the hardest things that can happen as a result of having a multi-cultural relationship is the criticism. I believe that this is a very common phenomenon that many multi-cultural relationships experience. This can definitely get to you, especially if the criticism is coming from someone close to you (e.g. family). Often times those closest to you will wonder why would you want be with someone who is so different than yourself? Why can’t you just be with someone from the same background, country, race, etc., who knows more the customs within your culture? But if you have a partner who will support you and encourage you, and always remind you that they love you and care for you, no matter where you are from or what you believe in, then that is what is most important and what others say about your choice to be in a multi-cultural relationship does not matter. Being multicultural is opening up our minds to accept diversity. We are learning to adapt and change for the better. This is an enlightening adventure for us all….
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